I hate days like this

Well today sucked. I woke up to find out I'd left the fridge open all night - food gone bad. Then I basically failed a test at school (in a class I'm taking for fun). After work I went to the WiO fitness class, and for the first time I wanted to quit the whole thing.

First of all, there are nearly 20 people coming to the class now. More and more of them are already very physically fit. I am the least fit person in the class, by far. We did circuit training again with little breaks in between to do jumps or push ups. When everyone else was done with their 20 push-ups, and I was on number 10 or 11.

Then we ran outside. I gave it my all on the first round because I thought that's all there'd be. I am not good at running, let alone outside. My chest hurt, my head hurt, my entire body ached - then I found out we were doing more. Now not only was I the slowest, I was on display for everyone else to watch.

The worst thing is that I have no coping mechanisms to fall back on. My coping mechanisms include anti-anxiety meds, eating, and self-injury. I have no anxiety meds, I'm not going to binge eat, and I am not going to self-harm again. Right now I'm just trying to repress how horrible I feel.

I'm told "it gets better" and "you're doing so good" and "I am amazed at how your doing" but they ring so hollow to me. I look the same. I feel the same. I'm sick of trying and trying and trying but not seeing results. I get that I've only done this for 5 weeks, but I really thought at $80 a week I'd see some kind of results that I could notice.