Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Breaking Laura

Well I lost 30lbs. My fat percentage dropped some. I felt better. However, in the end I felt I could have received the same results without paying so much for the MRP. I think the program would be run better if someone with background and training in nutrition, counseling, and medicine. All the Elevate staff were nothing but supportive.

The excuses I have for not losing more are that I cheated the last two weeks of Phase I, injured my knee to the point where I couldn't run and could only use the elliptical for short periods of time. Also, I felt burnout on the program.

My only other problem with the system was that it seemed like it was still in its infancy. At times I was unsure what I should be doing in the classes because they'd gotten so big as to make one-on-one help virtually impossible. I am agoraphobic, so as the group got bigger, and better, while I felt I was stagnating, I became more and more anxious. Some of the members didn't seem to like me, but that's just an inference from me. I think I came off as pessimistic.

Some truth for a minute: I felt pessimistic because I put a lot of hope into this program. I followed it so closely and still didn't see real results (by real results I mean weight loss equivalent to working out and eating healthy w/o an expensive program). I also hoped I'd find a community free of bullies (my experience with bullies is to be treated as if I don't exist and when I speak up to groan or laugh derisively) -- but the groups all had at least one member like that. At the classes I couldn't get over how unready I was for exercise and how poorly I did. I also felt that I wasn't improving anywhere near as quickly as the other group members. None of this has anything to do with the program itself. It has to do with my mental illness.